He Is Here

Isn't it providential when your heart is weighted down and you read something that speaks to it and brings you comfort? The devotion I read yesterday from The One Year Book of Hope did just that.

The devotion talked about how people try to make sense out of their suffering, but that isn't really what matters. The author quotes a friend when she says on p. 126, "I think it just comes down to this ... God is with us, and that is enough." The author also admits that "there have been times the promise of 'God with me' hasn't felt like enough for me. It has seemed like the cop-out answer when he wasn't doing something for me. I have wanted what he has to offer more than I have wanted him." (Second emphasis mine.) Indeed! Yet, his presence is enough, and no matter where we are, he is there! The words of Psalm 139:7-10 reiterate this truth.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

He is here with me. It is enough.

Abandoning Our Agendas

Shortly after delivering Hannah, a friend loaned me the book The One Year Book of Hope by Nancy Guthrie. I'd never heard of the book before, but my friend had gotten it when dealing with some difficult things herself, and it had been recommended to her by someone she knew who had suffered 2 late pg losses.

The book is a 52 wk devotional that explores various topics in the Bible with which those suffering pain and disappointment wrestle. It is not specifically written for people who have lost someone they love, but it's certainly fitting for them. The book offers hope to those experiencing the difficult things of this earthly life without being condescending or minimizing the reality of the hurt.

I'm currently on wk 7 of the devotions. So many of the daily writings have hit home for me. It felt like the one for today was written especially for me. Not only did I have an "ah-ha moment", but it was like I was being hit over the head with a 2x4 to make certain I didn't miss it's relevancy to me.

Today's devotion was based on Matthew 10:39. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Guthrie writes on p. 52:

Jesus calls us to abandon our own agendas, what we have deemed will please and fulfill us, so that we can embrace the kind and quality of life that only he gives. This is not about adding Jesus to the life we are living. This is about making Jesus our life. This is about putting our plans for our lives to death so that the abundant life he offers has room to take root and grow. And death is always painful ... The problem is, we don't really believe that God's plan for our lives could be better than the one we've crafted. We don't believe we could be as fulfilled by the life he offers as we would be by the one we've planned. It takes a step of faith to believe God will supply satisfying life now and when we die.

Wow! Does that ever go straight to my heart and pierce it!

God, I admit to wanting things my way and getting fiercely upset when you don't let them go that way. In my heart I believe that you want what's best for me and are creating it, but sometimes I feel torn apart when things don't seem to progress in the way my puny mind deems best. Forgive me for my mortal short-sightedness and faltering faith. Help me focus on you and the cross, ever thankful for the gift of your son and always trusting in your eternal focus. Amen.